Divorce can be a difficult situation, but when children are involved in the equation, it can be even more difficult. A child, no matter the age may have an issue with a divorce. Essentially a big part of their lives will no longer be living in the home. This difference in the living situation can cause a lot of confusion in a child's mind. Help your child get through your divorce without any negative effects on your child's life. See below for some helpful tips.
Keep Normal Routines
Your normal routines should be kept the same - this means bedtimes, meal times (eating together at the table), special traditions, and anything else you normally would do with your child should be kept the same. Don't make changes to these, as your child is used to these and is already dealing with a major change. Keeping routines may be a comfort to your child, so keep them the same. This goes for the other parent as well, routines should be kept the same when at the other parents home as well.
Deal With The Other Parent Directly
If there are matters to discuss with your ex, it should be done in person and directly with them. Your child should not be used as the middle man for your conversations with your ex. Any matters needing to be discussed should be done without your child being present to hear the conversations. Adult matters should be dealt with as adults - leave your child out of it.
Don't Talk Negatively About Your Ex
Again, leave your child out of adult discussions. This also means not talking negatively about your ex to your child. These are conversations that should be left to your therapist or when with your friends - not with your child. No matter your feelings for the other parent, they are your feelings and should not be projected onto your child.
Be A Parent - Not A Friend
Yes, you are trying your best to get your child through the divorce unscathed, but that doesn't mean you get a free pass on parenting while you instead try to be a friend. Your child needs a parent, not a friend, especially during this difficult time. Don't start taking your child to the movies late on a school night to try to out-do the other parent, or suddenly let your child do things you normally wouldn't just to get on their "good side". Be a parent - this is what your child needs.
Get Professional Help
Your child may not always want to talk to you or even the other parent about his feelings. Take your child to a therapist for help and to give your child someone else to talk to about his feelings. It may help your child to have an outsiders opinion or ear to listen to.
A divorce is difficult enough without kids in the mix - with kids it can be a disaster. Prevent this from happening and be sure your child is doing OK throughout the divorce and custody process. Contact a family law firm for more help.Share